why not just shower in the shower?

I'm going to break this down into two examples of male logic gone awry: "Why not step my game up?" Absolutely. Why not? You're an adult, you have a good job, it's clearly time to rise above the college level existence. I know you already have a lady, but it wouldn't hurt to impress her every now and then and allow her to believe you have the potential to be someone she may someday want to cohabitate with. It's all kinds of disgusting that you had a 3 year old shower curtain that you had never cleaned, so overall you had the right idea as you entered the Target shower curtain aisle. Unfortunately, here's where you veer off the path and bypass a perfectly bathroom appropriate bamboo setting for a "my first shower curtain," decorate your kid's bathroom-style shower curtain which is apparently also see through so that if your lady wants to brush her teeth while you're in the shower she also has to watch you wash your unmentionables. Come on. Is it too late to exchange for the bamboo? OR perhaps you could keep your silly, facing the wrong way geography curtain on the inside and hang the bamboo curtain on the outside so that you at least present the appearance of stylish home decor. Just a thought. "So why not learn geography?" Seriously, you are obviously not devoting enough time and energy to what is supposed to be the main focus during your shower. You should be lathering up, exfoliating, shampooing, shaving. Do you have a loofah? Or are you just kind of haphazardly slathering the suds from your generic bar soap and assuming that means you are full body clean? Shower time is Mike time. I think you should concentrate on emerging from your shower a cleaner, moisturized and better smelling individual and not worry about Kyrgyzstan and Turkmenistan. Unless you happen to have a San Diego city geography competition coming up?

Learning In the Loo

When I was in the 3rd grade, I came about an unorthodox way of learning multiplication. I'd discovered (in my brief time in academia) that flashcards served as extraordinary learning tools. It was something about the repetition and visualization that helped things sink in. I used them to learn words and grammar, as well as bits of history and science. So I decided to apply my fondness of the flashcard towards my study of mathematics. I took a clear plastic baseball card box (the kind that complete team sets of cards would come packaged in) and I slipped two multiplication flashcards inside - one facing each side. I decided this would provide my cards substantial protection from the elements. I then began to study my times tables in the shower. This was nearly two decades ago, so obviously, a lot has changed. But as they saying goes - the more things change, the more they stay the same. I recently acquired a Target gift card - a Christmas-time reward for being an outstanding nephew - and took said card to my local Target store this past weekend. I was looking for some things for my place. A skillet. A paper shredder. Perhaps some sheets. I actually ended up with a skillet (really a "fajita sizzler," but whatever), decided my single strip shredder was sufficient (the confetti cut was out of my price range), and refused to settle for anything less than 300 thread count bedding. So with skillet in hand, I wandered into the bathroom aisle. I was thinking about a small wastebasket to occupy the space between the toilet and the shower. I'm unashamed of the paper bag/empty 12-pack of Coors Light garbage receptacle that normally, and quite effectively, collects my trash in this corner, but I figured hey - I have a job, right? Why not step my game up? But then I saw the shower curtains. They were packaged compactly, folded and stuffed into clear vinyl cases with small photos of themselves displaying their unraveled and splash-containing glory. My mind flashed with images of my own shower curtain at home - a blue, khaki, and mold vertical striped pattern that had not been cleaned in 3 years - and I decided that now was the time to buy a new one. After a considerable amount of deliberation, I decided on a decorative Target-brand curtain adorned with a gigantic map of the world. Africa is the size of my forearm. While a white curtain with dozens of bamboo stalks had caught my eye, the idea of learning while bathing brought me back to my youth. The curtain is designed for the map to face the rest of the bathroom like a big poster, but I decided the artistic aspect didn't make much sense. I live by myself - who's going to appreciate it? Plus, I already have reading material to occupy myself with in the bathroom, so it's not like I a need shower curtain to study. But in the shower? I decided that I really don't do much in the shower. I mean, I clean...but aside from that, it's a pretty unproductive time. So why not learn geography? As of this entry, the curtain has been protecting my bathroom from shampoo splatter for just six days, but I'll be honest with you - my knowledge of international state lines has risen slightly. I'm not winning a geography contest anytime soon (shower-time studying resulted in a 6th grade math class times-tables competition win for yours truly), but I now know that Uzbekistan sits comfortably between Kyrgyzstan and Turkmenistan. Did you? You can pick one up online at Amazon.com