Learning In the Loo

When I was in the 3rd grade, I came about an unorthodox way of learning multiplication. I'd discovered (in my brief time in academia) that flashcards served as extraordinary learning tools. It was something about the repetition and visualization that helped things sink in. I used them to learn words and grammar, as well as bits of history and science. So I decided to apply my fondness of the flashcard towards my study of mathematics. I took a clear plastic baseball card box (the kind that complete team sets of cards would come packaged in) and I slipped two multiplication flashcards inside - one facing each side. I decided this would provide my cards substantial protection from the elements. I then began to study my times tables in the shower. This was nearly two decades ago, so obviously, a lot has changed. But as they saying goes - the more things change, the more they stay the same. I recently acquired a Target gift card - a Christmas-time reward for being an outstanding nephew - and took said card to my local Target store this past weekend. I was looking for some things for my place. A skillet. A paper shredder. Perhaps some sheets. I actually ended up with a skillet (really a "fajita sizzler," but whatever), decided my single strip shredder was sufficient (the confetti cut was out of my price range), and refused to settle for anything less than 300 thread count bedding. So with skillet in hand, I wandered into the bathroom aisle. I was thinking about a small wastebasket to occupy the space between the toilet and the shower. I'm unashamed of the paper bag/empty 12-pack of Coors Light garbage receptacle that normally, and quite effectively, collects my trash in this corner, but I figured hey - I have a job, right? Why not step my game up? But then I saw the shower curtains. They were packaged compactly, folded and stuffed into clear vinyl cases with small photos of themselves displaying their unraveled and splash-containing glory. My mind flashed with images of my own shower curtain at home - a blue, khaki, and mold vertical striped pattern that had not been cleaned in 3 years - and I decided that now was the time to buy a new one. After a considerable amount of deliberation, I decided on a decorative Target-brand curtain adorned with a gigantic map of the world. Africa is the size of my forearm. While a white curtain with dozens of bamboo stalks had caught my eye, the idea of learning while bathing brought me back to my youth. The curtain is designed for the map to face the rest of the bathroom like a big poster, but I decided the artistic aspect didn't make much sense. I live by myself - who's going to appreciate it? Plus, I already have reading material to occupy myself with in the bathroom, so it's not like I a need shower curtain to study. But in the shower? I decided that I really don't do much in the shower. I mean, I clean...but aside from that, it's a pretty unproductive time. So why not learn geography? As of this entry, the curtain has been protecting my bathroom from shampoo splatter for just six days, but I'll be honest with you - my knowledge of international state lines has risen slightly. I'm not winning a geography contest anytime soon (shower-time studying resulted in a 6th grade math class times-tables competition win for yours truly), but I now know that Uzbekistan sits comfortably between Kyrgyzstan and Turkmenistan. Did you? You can pick one up online at Amazon.com